Two is Company, But Three's a Crowd
by Sybilla12
Summary: Romantic comedy set during the Marauder's Era centered upon black haired heartthrob, Sirius Black, remarkably dazzling new student, Jenny Neesamelda, and the handsome brown eyed hunk, Remus Lupin. If you like well written fanfics look no further :D enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"Fucking idiot," a string of inaudible curses followed the first one as Sirius tried to make his way through the mob of screeching students and anxious parents. There were mothers crying and children groaning, quickly trying to escape the grasps of their parent's final kisses. Owls, cats and frogs were hooting, hissing and croaking periodically in a myriad of unintelligible noise that made you want to rip your eardrums out. Students were laughing and chatting boisterously in a futile attempt to make themselves heard over the impossible racket. Suddenly the Hogwarts Express let out a shrill, ear piercing warning and for a split second everyone on the platform (humans, cats, birds and frogs) all fell silent before the noise and jostling erupted once more with increased vigor.

Somewhere in the middle of this chaos, Sirius was trying to peer over the countless bobbing heads in a vain attempt to find his friends. Sirius looked up at the large oval clock placed just above him and let out an exasperated sigh; nine minutes till eleven.

_Where the bloody hell are those __wankers__?_

"Hi Sirius."

The black haired boy casually turned to address the choir of high pitched voices and found himself facing a group of blushing girls. They broke out into a fit of giggles as soon as Sirius laid his steel grey eyes on them.

There was no denying the fact that Sirius Black was unfairly good looking. He had inherited his father's strong chiseled jaw and broad picturesque shoulders along with his mother's prominent cheekbones and dashing grey eyes. The rest of his good looks were a combination of luck and genetic variation.

Sirius flashed the girls one of his trademark grins which sent them into another hysterical fit.

"Why hello there, you ladies must be lost because the beauty pageant is on the next platform."

There was also no denying the fact that Sirius Black was full of absolute crap.

If one were to ask a complete and utter oblivious idiot at Hogwarts, they'd be able to tell you that this boy could spew shite out of his mouth until he ran out of interstitial fluids. And then some.

"Primella wanted to come over and say hi bu-"

Primella Jones, a fairly decent looking sixth year with mousy brown hair whined loudly (much like a pig to Sirius' disgust) and started to blush furiously as the other girls began to laugh.

Sirius looked up at the clock again; seven minutes till eleven.

Tapping his shoe steadily on the concrete in blatant annoyance, Sirius rolled his eyes at the girls who had begun laughing again.

_Sod off you sacks of crap, I don't have time for this. _

Sirius waited for another twenty seconds and decided to cut short the incessant giggles before he knocked each one of them in their mouths which never seemed to close.

"Patricia, ladies, it's not that I wouldn't love to stand here and chat with you all day-,"

"My name's Primella!" The mousy haired girl whispered solemnly, she looked on the verge of tears as Sirius quickly pulled something out of his arse.

"I apologize for my ignorance but I just keep getting lost in your eyes." He added an extra grin and even a little wink for added effect.

Some of the girls shot Primella envious glares while some began to chuckle; Primella was blushing in content embarrassment.

_I swear I'm just too good at this._

"Right so anyways, I have to find James, Remus and Peter. You haven't seen them around have you?"

A few of the girls furrowed their brows and seemed to be insulted, like they knew what he actually meant was "fuck off but before you do, tell me where my friends are."

Sirius seemed to catch on to this.

"Oh please, I'll love you forever and ever!" Sirius could feel his puppy dog face set in. He was a master at this now having been practicing it while still in diapers.

The girls giggled and blushed and awed before one of them (who sounded shockingly, and also quite disturbingly, like a bloke) finally spoke up.

"I think I saw them standing by the train near the entrance over there." She pointed a short finger in the opposite direction before Sirius threw a quick thanks and another flash of his teeth at the still swooning girls. He then bounded off with his trolley trailing noisily behind him.

The oldest son of Walburga Black shoved his way through a horde of sniveling mothers sobbing their goodbyes to their children who were eagerly running away in an attempt to not be embarrassed any further. Sirius was trying to reach the opposite side of the steam engine when he spotted the giant brick pillar he had used as a gateway for the past six years.

It kind of saddened Sirius to think that this was his last year to run through the gateway and onto the platform; to think that this was his last year at Hogwarts.

However, there was also a feeling of great excitement that was bubbling deep within the pit of his well toned stomach.

The feeling crawled its way up whenever he thought of the attention, prestige and admiration that came along with the title of being a seventh year.

And here is where another point should be brought up about the characteristics of young Master Black. Although denying all accusations vehemently, Sirius Black was an attention whore; well in this case, an attention man-whore.

Anyone and everyone, including Sirius, knew that Black had to be the centre of attention and admiration or else he'd end up doing something completely outrageous in order for you to take notice of him. In Sirius' perspective, there wasn't one single person that didn't like him on some emotional or physical level.

In other words, all the boys wanted to be him and all of the girls wanted to be with him.

His presumptuous nature however, wasn't all there was to him. Basically, if there was one sentence that could sum up Sirius as a whole, it would be something along the lines of;

Sirius Black is an obnoxious, cocky, arrogant lout who can be funny, charming, idiotic and caring all the while being the most loyal friend on the face of the planet.

So, as you can see, he did have a warm and gentle side to him, but that part of his personality was usually too busy being squashed underneath his nine thousand ton ego.

Just as Black was about to make a turn, he felt the wind get knocked out of his lungs as he and his trolley toppled onto the concrete floor with a loud _**SMACK!**_

"You wanky little fucker, where the bloody hell have you been?"

James Potter stood looking down at his best friend of 7 years with a wide grin plastered on his oval face.

Sirius managed to sit up straight before he looked up at the little prick with his round poncy glasses that reflected the mischievous glint in his bright blue eyes.

"I was up your mum's arse you fucking prat!" Sirius replied sourly as he gingerly rubbed his head. He had a low brain cell count to begin with and that hit to the head couldn't have helped much.

"Oi, shut the bloody hell up mate she's right over there!" James hissed at Sirius as both of them turned to wave at Mrs. Potter who stood smiling worriedly as she waved back at the boys who were only a couple of feet away; she was completely oblivious to their conversation.

Sirius shook his head in an effort to clear out the cobwebs and took James' extended hand as he pulled himself up.

"Sorry about the spill, just couldn't help myself," James was grinning from ear to ear as he picked up all of Sirius' scattered possessions and placed them once again in a neat stack on his silver trolley.

Sirius shot James a suspicious look as the spectacled boy handed the trolley back to its rightful owner, "Why the fuck are you so cheery? You shag Evans or something?"

"Not yet, but I'm making progress; she smiled at me today," James said almost breathlessly as he ran his fingers through his short, messy hair.

The entire school knew James was completely mad about Lily Evans, a pretty red headed prefect who unfortunately for James did not even slightly feel the same way about him; in fact she utterly despised James Potter, his arrogant strut, his round dorky glasses, his unparalleled knack for disobeying the rules and most of all, she hated his persistence.

This long list of grievances however, did nothing to discourage young Mr. Potter. In his mind, they were already in love; she just hadn't realised it yet.

Sirius, who was clearly unimpressed with his friend's "achievement," expressed his fake excitement in the form of a clap on the back, which James regrettably took as encouragement.

Potter had opened his mouth to start rambling on about Evans; this was something Sirius knew immediately. James didn't even have to start speaking, Black just knew by the way his friend's eyes would glaze over and by the goofy grin he'd have plastered on his long face. Just like the expression he was wearing now.

So before Sirius had to cut his own ears off, he took the liberty of cutting James short.

"Where's Moony and Wormtail?"

"Wha-, oh... er they're waiting for us near the head of the train." James seemed a bit irritated at being cut off but thankfully got the hint and kept all other thoughts of Lily Evans to himself until they found the other two boys standing at the foot of the train's entrance.

Sirius grinned widely at the first boy whom he had nicknamed Moony; a tall, lean and handsome bloke with wavy brown chestnut hair and a big pair of eyes to match. The boy smiled widely, the dimples on his cheeks accentuating his fine bone structure, all the while revealing a set of nice white teeth as he waved at James and Sirius.

During the first few stages of their friendship, Black had been secretly (and quite overwhelmingly) envious of Remus because of his good looks; Sirius couldn't bear the thought of girls swooning over someone other than himself. However, due to Lupin's quiet, reserved and bookish nature, most girls had over looked his aesthetically pleasing physical appearance for Sirius, who was just as appealing to the eye, and who epitomized the main thing that attracted so many girls; a trouble maker. After figuring out that he didn't need to feel threatened by Remus, the two had become much closer.

"Sirius!"

Black smiled over at the other boy who had called his name in excitement.

Peter Pettigrew stood standing beside Lupin with a box of Chocolate Frogs; the contrast between the two was almost laughable.

Pettigrew barely reached Remus' shoulder, and taking into account that Moony was taller than most of the students and professors at Hogwarts, the comparison was still quite jarring. The harsh dissimilarity was exemplified not only by Peter's height, but also because of his weight; which he did nothing to keep under control. Wormtail had been a little lump of a boy for as far back as Sirius could remember. Straw coloured hair fell just below his double chins in an attempt to copy Sirius' trademark hair-do, which he unfortunately couldn't pull off nearly as well as Black. And for such a large head, he had absolutely nothing inside of it. Peter was the most thick-headed git Sirius had ever known, but Sirius loved him regardless. Besides, Remus had enough brains to share amongst the four of them.

"Where were you mate, thought we'd have to board without our famous little Padfoot," Remus said with a cheeky smile and a mild tone of sarcasm. As loud as it was, his calm, smooth voice cut through the noise like a hot knife through butter.

"Sod off you ponce," Sirius replied jokingly as he punched his friend in the arm. "I got held up talking to Prunella or whatever the fuck and her mates, they cornered me."

Remus smiled sympathetically. Although girls didn't fall for Moony's personality, they weren't blind either. Lupin was used to being relentlessly followed around by groups of girls, and unlike Sirius, he absolutely hated it. Instead of egging the girls on with a cheeky remark or two like his friend, Remus usually shot them annoyed glances which were regularly accompanied by a dry, sarcastic remark that would send the heart broken girls running into Sirius' welcoming arms; a result which both of the boys were thoroughly pleased with.

"Well I'm here now so let's get a move on before we end up having to share a compartment with those fucking Hufflepussies again," Sirius said frowning at the memory of last year's torturous train ride to Hogwarts.

"We won't I- I found one for us," Remus stuttered slightly as he tried to avoid eye contact with any of the boys who were looking up at him curiously; except for Peter who was too busy eating his Chocolate Frogs.

"Atta boy, first time we'll have a compartment to ourselves since our first fuc-"

"I never said it was empty," Remus said cutting James off who now wore a look of disgruntled frustration which had replaced the wide grin on his face only moments before.

"Hold on a tick, how come you two haven't put your trunks in there yet?" Sirius asked eyeing their brown leather bags suspiciously. Peter would never have opted to go through any extra physical exertion, even if it was something as simple as lugging his trunk along behind him.

Remus was about to speak when Peter (quite bravely) decided to cut him off. Courage was never really Pettigrew's strong suit.

"We were looking for empty compartments and we walked past one that only had one person sitting inside, and I told Remus to go in and ask if we could share but he said he was intimidated and so we came out here to wait for you lot to show up and ask for us." Wormtail said all of this without taking a single breath as if he would lose the courage to carry on if he had stopped for a breather, and looking up at Lupin it was a good thing he hadn't because Moony's current expression was a bit short of murderous.

While Remus was glaring poisonous daggers at Peter, James and Sirius exchanged incredulous glances.

"Intimidated?" James spoke the word as if a foreign object had flown out of his mouth.

"Moony, you're a fucking werewolf mate... who the bloody hell are you intimidated of?" Sirius asked in bewilderment. Black looked at his tall friend who stood fidgeting uncomfortably with his thumbs while his bright brown eyes stared holes into the ground. His usually pale cheeks were flushed with embarrassment.

Remus Lupin could be happy, Remus Lupin could be sad, he could be angry, depressed, ecstatic -hell, he could even be flirtatious, but frightened?

That wasn't possible.

For the seven years Sirius had known Remus, that boy had never once, not even in his sleep, been scared let alone intimidated, of anything or anyone. Not even the time when he and Remus had gotten the piss beaten out of them in their fifth year because Malfoy had instructed a dozen of his goons to beat the shit out of Sirius for snogging his now ex girlfriend. Sirius had been terrified; he had almost pissed his pants actually. He could remember feeling the fear painted on his face and turning to look at his friend, he expected to see the same thing. However, Remus stood there with a bored look on his porcelain face as if he were watching McGonagall teach the class about a spell he already knew.

So looking at Moony now, who wore a genuine look of discomfort and timidity, Sirius was shitting bricks.

"Follow me and I'll show you," Remus mumbled as he turned from his bewildered friends to climb aboard the rumbling steam engine which was ready and raring to go.

Sirius and James exchanged another worried glance as they lifted their trunks onto the train before hopping on themselves.

_I wonder what the hell's got him so nervous. He's a fucking werewolf for Christ's sake!_

Now, I'm sure many of you are confused as to what Sirius means when he keeps mentioning this werewolf rubbish, but the truth was just that; Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

James and Peter called it his transformation; Sirius called it PMS.

Every month, a couple of days before the full moon, Remus would become increasingly grouchy, excessively vulgar and uncomfortably raunchy; moods swinging faster than Peter ate dessert. He had once thrown a toilet seat at a fifth year girl who had followed him into the lavatory for a snog.

Sirius usually enjoyed this time of the month because it was the only occasion on which Remus was willing to do something rebellious, other than to read a book in the Restricted section from the Library.

However, the simple act of asking usually came at a risk. Black remembered the one time he had invited Remus to sneak into the dungeons to put a stink bomb in Snivellus' cauldron... Sirius had nearly ended up with one testicle. Enough being said, Remus could be down right terrifying when he'd forget to drink his Wolfsbane potion, but that was what his friends were there for and they loved his arse to death; even if it did become excessively hairy once every month.

Sirius snapped out of his reverie as he felt the Hogwarts Express lurch forward beneath him, officially embarking upon a new journey towards the school and towards a new year. Black continued to follow his friends down the squashed train corridor and caught Moony's worried glance as he chuckled to himself;

_He probably saw__ a vampire__...__ or Dr. Van Helsing... ha__ha_

Before Black could come up with any more lame puns, he saw Remus stop abruptly in front of the seventh compartment from the entrance. He turned around, big brown eyes glittering and mouth set in a nervous frown. Moony extended an arm towards the door, beckoning his friends to come closer and take a look.

Sirius, who was taking up the rear, saw James and Peter's wide eyed, grinning faces before peering into the compartment himself when he heard his breath catch in his throat.

One glance was all it took to understand why Remus hadn't had the bollocks to go in on his own. Sitting alone on one corner of the blue leather seats, dark glittering eyes transfixed by a novel named _The Lord of the Rings,_sat the most breathtaking girl he had ever seen.

This girl whom he had never laid eyes on before, this girl with the long dark curls that seemed to frame her pretty face like the way silver framed a diamond within a ring, this girl who sat there with a poised elegance while partaking in one of Sirius' most hated of activities... this girl; she had made Sirius Black's heart drop out of his arse.

It took an additional twenty seconds or so for Sirius to realize he was still gawking at the girl, another ten to scrape his jaw off the floor and then another five before he could produce sentences again.

Sirius caught Remus staring curiously at him before the black haired heart throb took control over himself.

_You are Sirius Black. __**You**__ do not gawk at girls. __**They **__gawk at __**you**__. Now, pull your head out of your mum's arse and lead the way into that compartment._

"W-Well Remus, I don't see what all the fuss was about, I mean honestly," Sirius was surprised and also quite proud at how cool and calm his voice sounded when it felt as though he had swallowed a meadow full of monarch butterflies.

Black looked at Lupin who stood tugging at his turtle neck in anxiety. Sirius rolled his eyes in amusement at his friend for an added effect of bravado before pulling the compartment door open.

"Hello there gorgeous, you mind if we join you in here?" Sirius had put on his most charming face; his grey eyes were at their brightest and his smile to its fullest.

The dazzling young girl glanced up from her book to look at them with a pair of dark glittering eyes. Her book which was now slightly lowered from her face, had been hiding a cute little nose and a remarkable pair of pink lips which made Sirius' heart melt as they curled up ever so slightly to form a small smile.

"No, of course not," she said politely to Sirius as she gestured towards the empty seats in front of her with her free hand.

Sirius grinned widely.

_She'll be all over me by the time we reach the school._

_

*I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters or anything associated with the books or movies*

However, I do hope you enjoyed my writing! Please feel free to message :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Jenny had arrived on the platform half an hour before any other signs of civilization. She consequently found herself alone reading her favourite book written by a muggle named J.R.R Tolkien in a compartment aboard the Hogwarts Express.

She abruptly stopped reading and took a quick glance out of the window and saw that they were still not moving. She had lost all track of time and found herself sore in the fanny from sitting in the same position for so long.

Shifting gingerly, Jenny set her book down and took a deep, shuddering breath.

There were numerous amounts of butterflies bumping around in her stomach just at the thought of attending a school for the first time since she was six.

Her very strict and foreboding father didn't believe in public education; he didn't believe in very much besides making money and drinking to be honest.

Thankfully she had a wonderful mum.

Jenny's mother was a muggle, and although she had wanted to send her daughter to a public school, she couldn't really do much about the matter since Mr. Neesamelda controlled every one of his wife's actions and decisions.

Opposition or disagreements usually ended with Jenny's mother sporting a shiny red welt on her face for a couple of weeks.

If only the two had divorced earlier...

Jenny most likely would have found herself sharing a compartment with some friends instead of sitting all by her lonesome rereading _The Lord of the Rings_ for the twenty seventh time.

_**BAM!**_

_What the hell?_

"Hehehe, oh Lucius, stop!"

Then again, maybe it was a good thing she was by herself; kids her age were astoundingly piss headed nowadays.

Jenny rolled her eyes at the girl's irritating giggles coming from the compartment next to hers. If she had to endure an entire train ride of those two animals next door, she'd throw herself out of the window.

"Narcissa please, you're lucky I'm even in here with you," a snooty aristocratic drawl broke the onslaught of giggling. "Now, do you want me to stop?"

Jenny wrinkled her nose in disgust at the boy's remark; what a pompous bastard.

If there was one thing Jenny Neesamelda hated more than anything in the world, it would have to be the overwhelmingly large ego so many blokes seemed to posses these days. The way they practically assumed they could get any girl that they laid their eyes on was absolutely ridiculous.

Unfortunately girls like Narcissa (who had replied to the remark with a pathetic, whimpering "no") who encouraged such idiotic behaviour only contributed to feeding the daft and senseless image that these thick headed boys were after.

Living in London for the past 17 years, one might assume that Jenny would have gotten used to the audacious type; however it worked out to be the complete opposite.

Being very attractive, it was natural that most blokes would try and chat her up using a lame pick up line (something Jenny absolutely despised), trying to come off as cool, funny and irresistibly arrogant; characteristics that most girls would go mad for.

But what Jenny saw was a facade that reflected the pathetic, insecure and vulnerable personality which hid behind the ego and cheesy pick up lines.

Consequently, out of the hundreds of blokes to hit on her, only two had ever been successful.

These two relationships however, were quite half arsed on Jenny's part and thusly resulted in a rather quick and shameless breakup which ended up with a recital of her rehearsed speech, "It's my fault I got into the relationship when I knew I didn't have feelings for you."

This was true on both occasions because Jenny never once felt any emotional attachment to either of them. In fact she utterly loathed their incessant calls, messages and requests to hang out; and people thought girls were clingy?

Maturity, humility, personality, thoughtfulness, wit and most of all intellect; these were the characteristics Jenny wanted in a man. Of course, cute and charming couldn't hurt either.

Suddenly, a muffled conversation coming from outside her compartment door distracted the young girl from her thoughts.

Making an effort to be as inconspicuous as possible, she picked up her book and continued to read, trying to seem oblivious to the two voices arguing outside.

"Peter, I'm not going in there, we-"

"She doesn't seem like a mean girl, just-"

"I told you, no! We're going back outside and waiting for James to find Sirius."

The boy, presumably named Peter, had a surprisingly elegant voice which completely opposed his chubby body. The white button up shirt he was wearing was teeming at the seams, threatening to split at his next exhalation.

The porky lad reached over and tugged at the arm of the other boy who Jenny couldn't see. He was standing right where the transparent glass door ended and the thick brown, opaque walls of the train began.

An arm clothed in a wonderful clinging black material popped into view as Jenny arched her neck in a vain attempt to put a face to the soft, mellifluous voice she had heard earlier.

"Just go in and ask!" Peter urged the other boy, tugging at the arm which recoiled abruptly.

Jenny furrowed her eyebrows in confusion; _what did they want to ask me?_

There was an awkward silence until it was shattered by the soft, soothing voice.

"I-I can't, you don't understand...I...Fuck you."

"Oi, hold up!" The chubby boy ran after his friend, leaving Jenny to stare at the door in complete mystification.

_What the hell was that all about?_

Then shrugging indifferently, she resumed reading her book.

****

Tugging half in annoyance and half in anxiety at his shirt, Remus swore at himself.

_What the fuck did you have to wear a turtleneck today for? You're only sweating a fucking glass full._

Heart fluttering wildly in his muscular chest, Lupin had to take a deep breath before he regained control over himself.

Well most of himself; his legs still felt like lead and the swaying of the train which had just gathered speed really did not seem to help.

Sirius stuck his shaggy black head into the compartment to ask her that one simple question Remus had been too afraid to bring up.

A soft mumble was all Moony heard from his friend. He was in no way paying attention to what was going on around him; Professor Slughorn could have run in front of him with no clothes on and Remus wouldn't have even blinked.

He was simply looking at her fair picturesque face with a rather ridiculous grin plastered on his when he realized James was nudging him hard in the ribs.

Shaking his head slightly, he regained his senses and looked down at his friend.

Biting his bottom lip in an attempt to hold back laughter, James began to whisper, "Oi mate, stop smiling like an idiot and grab your trunk before she thinks you've gone mad."

Remus stared bewildered in front of him.

Seeing his friends forming a single line, slowly trudging their way into the compartment, he forgot how to walk.

He simply stood there, motionless with his brown leather trunk in hand and a wide eyed expression painted upon his handsome face.

If it wasn't for James, Remus most likely would have ended up standing there for another two minutes panicking, and then deciding it too late to walk in, would go off and spend the remainder of the ride to Hogwarts in the Prefect's compartments beating himself up for being such an idiot.

"Moony, what the fuck mate?" turning around and grinning, James offered some words of encouragement, "move your huge arse clown feet before I chop them off."

Scowling in response, Remus somehow managed to get both legs to carry him through the open glass door and into the warm, cosy compartment.

Sirius had taken the seat next to her, James was sitting beside Sirius, and on the opposite side Peter sat taking up quite a bit of space. However, between the window and his fat arsed friend, there was just enough room for Remus to sit down.

Slowly and very self consciously, Lupin made his way over to the rack and plopped his trunk above their heads before carefully squeezing into the tight space left for him.

He was sitting directly in front of her.

Remus Lupin was excellent at reciting five paragraph excerpts on disarming spells, he was amazing when it came to talking to the class during presentations, and he was even great at commentating an odd Quidditch game or two, but if there was one thing Remus was not good at, it was talking to pretty girls; and this girl was gorgeous.

Remus hadn't even opened his mouth to say two words but he could already feel the knot beginning to tie in his tongue.

Remus sat staring at her porcelain features, drinking in as much of her impossible beauty as he could when she suddenly looked up at him from behind her book with eyes like melting pools of chocolate. She lowered her book slightly and Remus could see a small smirk placed on her pretty pink lips as he began to feel his face redden.

The two locked eyes for a moment and Lupin felt his heart trying to pound its way out of his chest.

Then breaking away, her brown orbs slightly widened in shock when she looked at Remus' clinging black turtleneck.

Lupin saw this and uncomfortably shifted positions' while trying hard not to look down and see what she was staring at.

_I probably have frog shit on my sweater knowing my luck._

The entire compartment was shrouded in a rather painful silence before James decided to break it.

"Er... I'm James Potter..." awkwardly leaning over an unusually quiet Sirius, he extended a hand in greeting.

The girl looked rather relieved that someone had decided to break the silence and took James' hand with eager readiness.

"I'm Jenny Neesamelda," the girl replied in a soft, mature voice that made Remus' heart skip a beat, "Nice to meet you James."

"Jenny? What a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl," Sirius suddenly broke out of his odd silent streak with the usual lame remark accompanied by a wide grin. "I'm Sirius Black, Hogwarts' resident hunk."

Padfoot took Jenny's slender white hand in his and brought it up to his lips, kissing it lightly before letting go and winking at the girl with a cheeky grin on his face.

Now naturally, Remus would have wanted to punch his friend upside the head, but instead he found himself trying not to laugh.

Every single moving entity at Hogwarts with a pair of ovaries was ready to turn into a giant pile of puddy if Sirius so much as threw a wink at them, but this girl whom he had actually, physically kissed had had a totally different reaction.

Elegant features distorted into a look of disgust and repulsion, Jenny managed to get out a few words of welcome in a voice like acid.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't do that again, I just washed my hands."

Humourlessly wiping her hand on the back of her gray tunic, she began to inch further away from "Hogwarts' resident hunk."

Sirius' grin was wiped clean off of his face and instead was replaced by a look of utter confusion and complete disbelief.

Actually, every one of the boys in the compartment had a similar look on their faces.

Remus exchanged an incredulous glance with James before shifting his vision onto Sirius' flabbergasted and quite colourless mug.

He simply sat staring at the girl with his mouth hanging open as though he half expected her to look back and tell him that she was only having a laugh.

However, Jenny paid no attention to the gobsmacked young bloke to her right and instead looked at Peter with a warm friendly smile, wordlessly coaxing his name out.

"I'm Peter Pettigrew."

"Pleasure to meet you Peter, I love your last name by the way," Jenny said, voice pure honey again she smiled sweetly at the porky boy before turning her dazzling gaze upon Remus.

_Oh shit._

"And you, what's your name?"

_Oh shit._

Jenny smiled and Remus forgot how to speak.

_Fuck._

It was as though all seventeen years of knowledge about the English language had shot right out of Remus' arse the instant she looked at him.

"Re-Remus, Remus Lupin- John. Remus John Lupin."

_Fucking hell that did not come out in the right order._

Suddenly Jenny laughed; a wonderful, melodious laugh that would have put Mozart and Beethoven to shame.

"So your name is Remus Remus Lupin John Remus John Lupin?" She looked at the boy's scarlet face and cheekily continued. "Which one of your parents had Alzheimer's when they named you?"

They all burst into laughter (including Sirius, who's laugh seemed quite over done) as Remus ran his hands through his chestnut hair, sighing and grinning widely before extending a surprisingly steady hand in salutation.

"Remus."

Feeling only a bit more comfortable, Lupin managed to get his name out without any mishaps this time around.

Jenny smiled coyly at him before taking his hand in her own, soft, small one.

The sensation of her skin on his made Remus involuntarily think of how it would feel in other places.

To Remus' embarrassment and complete horror, he immediately felt all of his blood rush southwards.

Abruptly letting go of her hand, he uncomfortably shifted in his tight seat and tried leaning over slightly while folding his arms in his lap in an attempt to cover the obscene event which was taking place beneath Remus' white boxers.

"I reckoned that was it, I was just giving you a hard time, sorry," she apologized sincerely and smiled sweetly at him again.

Remus acknowledged his forgiveness with a slight nod, too frightened to move anything else.

She seemed to notice his frigid movements and eyed him suspiciously before speaking.

"You alright? You lo-"

"Where are you from?"

Everyone in the compartment turned to look at Sirius who had dared to speak once again; unfortunately his remark was completely out of context and thusly earned an irritated glance from the girl he was sitting beside.

"The same country you're from," Jenny icily replied as James tried unsuccessfully to cover his sniggers behind a series of excessive coughs.

Sirius laughed, trying to shake her remark off by pretending that she meant it as a joke before continuing in a futile attempt to redeem himself.

"No, what I meant was I've never seen you before and believe me, I think I'd remember someone as ridiculously gorgeous as you." Sirius seemed to have completely disregarded her previous reaction to his lame attempt at a pick up line and smiled cheekily while waiting for a response.

To Sirius' embarrassment he didn't get one; Jenny simply turned to look at him and raised her feathery dark eyebrows cynically.

"I- I uh, just- you know, I don't recognize you, and being pretty familiar with the female population at Hogwarts, I just assumed that you didn't attend this school las-" Sirius was talking himself into a ditch; a ditch that grew bigger and bigger with each word that came out of his mouth.

Remus put his head in his hands.

_What the hell is he doing?_

Looking down at his lap, Lupin realized that his pet iguana had fallen back asleep.

His muscles relaxed and Remus sighed in relief.

Lifting his head to take a glance at the train wreck in front of him he saw Jenny still sitting there with the same expression on her pretty face; her eyes brown shards of ice. Then he saw Sirius, still talking; handsome face contorted in an effort to try and climb back out of the hole he had thrown himself into.

"Sirius, mate, I think she gets the point." James interrupted his friend, actually feeling embarrassed for him while trying to save Black whatever dignity he had left.

Jenny smiled appreciatively at James before returning her cold gaze back on a rosy cheeked Sirius.

The only time Remus had ever seen his rather shameless friend blush was two years ago when James had pulled his pants down in front of their Transfiguration class.

Unfortunately James had tugged a bit too hard and had ripped Sirius' boxers off as well...

Luckily his back was turned to the class (as he was in mid bend to pick up his wand) so the only person truly violated was Professor McGonagall. The rest of the students got a hell of an eyeful. The girls however, really didn't seem to mind.

As Sirius had trudged red faced back to his seat to slap James in the head, Remus could distinctly remember the light shade of red painted on Black's face.

Looking at his friend now, he could only imagine how humiliated Sirius felt because his face was fucking scarlet.

"You're right, this is my first year at Hogwarts b-"

"You're a first year?!" Sirius exclaimed in astonishment, "Remus you reckon they'd be able to throw me in Azkaban for shagging an eleven year old?"

Remus felt his cheeks grow hot as he began to mutter something under his breath.

Jenny looked at Sirius in disbelief.

Sirius, who saw this as another opportunity to throw more of his "charm" at her, grinned and winked audaciously.

The rate at which this boy regained his confidence was actually frightening.

"No, I'm not a first year," Jenny spoke to Sirius slowly and enunciated each word as though she was talking to a five year old. "I was homeschooled by my father until him and my mother divorced last spring." Remus noticed her brown eyes harden when she mentioned her father and made a mental note to look into that later. "I'm being put into seventh year."

"Fucking brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed jovially, "We're in seventh year as well! Hell, if you're in the same house you'll be in all of our classes too!

Remus realized this as well and had half a mind to try and bewitch the Sorting Hat in order to ensure that Jenny became a Gryffindor.

I'll personally show you around," Sirius stated eagerly as he threw Jenny another wink.

The appearance of sheer terror on Jenny's face made it clear that she was not looking forward to her first year at Hogwarts.

"This year's going to be bloody amazing," Sirius said excitedly, "I can already tell."


End file.
